By Hania Trzaskowski ND

Boobs, breasts, tatas, tits, bosoms, love pillows…whatever you want to call them. These mound like peaked ranges are unique in us humans. We are the only mammals on earth that have them throughout our adult lives, and not only when nourishing our little mini me’s.

So naturally they have become more than just a tool of infant feeding. Breasts have become a central feature in our physical, mental and spiritual lives. From the Nile waters bursting out each year from the pendulous bosoms of the god Hapi, to the daily diligent worship of the ‘page 3’ topless pin-ups in popular newspapers. Breasts have been a dominating feature in human life & indeed, magickal & medicinal culture.

Breasts, Love and Sex: Sensual & sexually charged bosoms bring sexual awareness to the front of the body (unlike most mammals, that prefer the back ‘doggie’ view). If it wasn’t for us standing upright with nipples that point erect when we are on heat, we probably wouldn’t have much in the way of kissing and foreplay! Both men & women stimulate the genital sensory cortex in their brain during nipple play. This is the same area that responds to – yes, you guessed it – friskiness downstairs! [i] This is why the dual use of breasts as both a baby grazing ground and an adult play ground has resulted in sexual pleasure or even orgasm through breast feeding! A taboo seldom talked about phenomenon, women are often too shocked or embarrassed to admit it ever happening. But it is a natural & important element to both mating and child rearing.

Stimulating our chest roses is linked to bonding. Not only between mothers and their babies, but also between lovers. It gives a sense of security, fidelity, being ‘in love’, and makes us want to spend more time with one another! [ii] Its one of the reasons why breastfeeding is regarded as important to at least attempt long enough to aid in maternal bonding & reduce post partum depression. This is something to consider when wondering why breasts may be important in sex magick or love spells.

Does size matter, you ask? Well oddly enough, there has been a study to show that the biggest of chest melons are generally preferred by single men with no relationship restrictions. Those commitment & family types don’t tend to have a preference for these, leaning with keen eyes towards middle c & d sizes at any angle. So if your looking at finding a long term mate and lots of fertility, then perhaps a fertility statue with moderately sized boobs is more the go! Personally, I love recommending a relaxing milk bath ritual. Sends out attractive energy AND makes the skin sexy soft and supple

 Frontispiece Fertility: At birth, we are all born with the capability of having breasts & lactating! During puberty, human breasts respond to sex developing hormones in the same way a dormant seed erupts at the first sign of Imbolc sunshine in spring. They do so at the same time that most girls experience menarche; a time where they are now able to conceive the next generation. So it is easy to see why a girl that was the apple of her daddys eye is suddenly noticed by her community as the full fertile apple tree ready for picking. Many rites of passage worldwide denote this transition, from ‘quince annos’ of Latin America to the Debutante balls of Euro & Anglo culture.  In some cultures like that in West African Cameroon, this signal of fertility is considered so powerful as to be dangerous, leaving young girls more susceptible to rape and abduction. This fear has unfortunately led to the development of the cruel breast ironing tradition , where mothers and elder women flatten the breasts of young pubescent women in order to try and prevent fertile sexual attention.

Even with several layers of clothing, bosoms can be the most obvious publically detectable change that occurs in puberty. So naturally, these mountains of prospective milk and pleasure are associated with the maiden turning into the perspective lover, mate and ultimately – the prospective mother. This can be acknowledged during a welcoming menarche ceremony, which we can all do for young girl entering womanhood. It teaches her to honour and respect her body just the way she is.

Fertility fetishes with naked breasts of all shapes and sizes are thought to bring in abundance of food and materials, a good season for animal husbandry, and crop fertilisation. After all, that which is birthed into ones life needs to be fed! This gives it a powerful position, as breasts are seen to control the very sustenance of life amongst the people. Medieval Europe saw the worship of the breastfeeding mother Mary in lieu of previous pagan deities of fertility. The milk of Mary was only second to the blood of Christ. Without her milky power, the god that is Jesus would have perished from hunger. Before the age of formula, breasts were the symbol of power over not only the people, but also over their gods.

Magickal Breastfeeding: Milk has long been associated with wellbeing. Most religions and spiritual paths around the world promote and encourage breastfeeding, including rules in the ‘land of milk and honey’. There are strict rules in Islam that force fathers to support the mother of their children for at least 2 years for the purpose of breastfeeding. In Ancient Rome, Rumina –  the goddess of birth & childrearing, would be offered milk to promote the flow of breast milk. And in many neopagan paths, we can see rites where the breasts are blessed as a charm for successful milk supply.

Breastfeeding is seen as vital to life, especially in those communities that do not have access to alternatives like formula. We have built up many folkloric remedies for all sorts of lactation issues. This includes the use of herbal potions like Fenugreek to brew up more milk, and various myths about sex and its ability to get the river of milk to inundate. Funny thing is, there is growing evidence to show these myths are true! The hormone oxytocin is produced during orgasm and uterine contraction, which can then encourage let down (flow of milk).  And as for offering your milk to the gods? Well, that would mean expressing, of which the stimulation on the nipples itself encourages the body to produce even more.

Human milk has also been used in various rites for the individual or community. I’ve seen a Jewish based baby naming ceremony that calls for anointing the baby with breast milk to welcome her into the covenant. In the Scottish Highlands, it was traditional to offer milk into the earth before placing a flagstone, as an offering to the supernatural Gruagach. This is to prevent her interfering with any livestock.

It can also be a strong bonding libation. Heard of blood brothers? Well how about milk mothers? There are a number of cultures that believe that by drinking someone’s breastmilk,  you become their child. Wet nurses in Islam become second mothers, and some women have dodged around the taboo of men in their workplace by breastfeeding them! In Isis worshipping ancient Egypt and Rome, the dead would be fed breastmilk to become the surrogate child of Isis. Thus would beprotected in the underworld. So if you want to create a iron clad bond or a binding spell, remember that milk is like the superglue of bonds, and can be seen to be just as strong as blood.

The information in this article is not to be used for self diagnosis, please consult a health professional for diagnoses or if symptoms persist.

For Crimson Marquee as well as other Groups and Circle in the community

Circles are a great way of

• networking with one another
• workshopping skills & ideas
• sharing a warm space with other like minded women
• self awareness & knowledge building
• gathering information and ideas
• teaching others our wisdoms
•  building relationships with ourselves and  others
• Experiencing  areas such as spirituality or practical skills
• Supporting one another and ourselves

There is also a list of what a circle ISN’T or cannot be a substitute for, which is one reason why this article by the etiquette Aunty is brought forth; to make the place and happier and more fulfilling community time, getting to be all those things listed above and more!

This article is designed for us to know HOW best to be mindful of our own needs to be genuine to get the most from taking part in circles and events, without impeding on others ability to also do the same.

Many of the elements and areas discussed can be taken to other social & circle contexts, and used for many group circles and activities out there in the wider community. Please feel free to use these as a template  or for ideas for other groups and endeavours.  Each point is illustrated as areas to be mindful of to remember, and not necessarily ‘rules’ or boundaries.

Consent: Balancing Openness and Etiquette

The circles at Crimson Marquee are very easy going and known for its open approach to womens circles. You are under no obligation to take part in everything, where everything is based on unconditional consent. Unconditional consent means there is no judgment placed on anyone making a decision when it comes to themselves, such as not wanting to take part in something, like sitting out a meditation or conversation.  You are thus free to burp, fart, stretch, go grab a water, sit, stand – anything that you need to do for your empowerment and experience as long as it doesn’t impose on anyone elses journey. We encourage everyone to be genuine to themselves and others. The only limitation is that we ask everyone to be mindful of others in also having that ability to be genuine and honest.

Ownership

Though we share our experiences, we can only own our own feelings and responsible for our own selves. This means that although we ask for advice, wisdom sharing or support with any given issue or situation,  it is not acceptable to ask anyone to own our problems or feelings for us, nor should we allow ourselves to carry the feelings or responsibilities for other people.

If we own an issue for someone else, we are doing a disservice to that person by not allowing them to learn the lessons themselves. By asking others to take our responsibilities, it means we do ourselves that disservice and may lay weight on others who may wish to concentrate on their own journeys.

There is a line between supporting a person to help themselves, and holding a persons responsibilities as our own. So as an example, it is okay to ask someone for their opinion or thoughts, but not ok if we ask them to make decisions for us or ask them to tell us what to do.  Or instead of asking & accepting an opinion or piece of wisdom from another person, demanding another person tells you what to do in a given situation or issue, or get them to make a decision for you. It is unfair to have someone else be responsible for your decisions and actions. In the words of many great etiquette aunties:  “own your own shit. That shit will make some great compost for beautiful smelling roses one day…”  Share your composting techniques, but don’t lay back and get someone else to compost your whole garden for you.

If  you are unsure about a situation, or your own actions, please feel free to come ask a circle facilitator. This is something we all do very often, so there is no shame associated with being in this position, yet you can gain to much empowerment from becoming aware. So its not just circle etiquette, but also a great tool towards self awareness in ones life

Professional cross-over & consent

Many women who come to circle may be experts in a given field or be a mountain of information. You may be a professional tarot reader, a medical nurse or a mother of 8 children. This does not mean, however, that you are under any obligation to put on your professional hat and feel pressured to perform like a trained circus animal. If you wish to share your wisdoms and knowledge then you are more than welcome to do so as long as it does not impede on anyones journey.In other words, then please ask for consent first – even if you are a professional! A simple “ Can I share my thoughts with you?” is fine J And if they say no or back off, then we need to respect that boundary.

On that note, although it is ok to ask for advice or help from someone given their skills or profession, we should accept their answer if they say no. They may be there for their own personal reasons and need to focus on their own issues that day, and not on others. It is NOT ok to pressure anyone to do anything for you or be someone for you, or pressure them for free services. Saying “ oh just a quick one” after them declining twice already is not ok.  As an example, though it is ok to ask a professional  tarot reader to give you a reading or advice at an event or circle, it is not ok to pressure them to do so. If the person says “ im here to enjoy the circle, but if you would like a reading feel free to contact me another time” then please respect their boundaries.

Energy exchange: If a professional offers you some service in their free time, it is advised that you also give something of yourself in return. This doesn’t always mean money : it can be some service that you provide in energy exchange, or even a baked cake, or a little baby sitting – anything that would be appreciated! It is common courtesy to give something of yourself in return for time & energy given to you.

Time for Everyone

Circles, of any sort, run on some kind of time constraint. Even if there is no limit on the host or venue, there is a natural limit as to how long a group of people can keep their attention and energy focused, especially if circles run late and people get tired or minds wander off to how much sleep they get before going to work the next day. Therefor, it is important to be mindful about the time.

We can be time attentive in a number of ways:

• Therapy time: Remember that many circles (whether womens red tent or others),  are generally around 3 hours long, with time set aside for any focus of the month and any workshop.  Although your current issue may be important, we need to allow everyone who is present to have some time to express, share and discuss. ( A bit of mathematics for perspective: If everyone should speak for 40 mins each and there are 12 people present, that means  8 hours! ) If your point of discovery, journey or expression looks to dominate the circle for that day, you may be advised that it is best to discuss your case further into more detail after circle. This is especially in the case that the discussion turns into a one-on-one discussion across the circle that can be continued at a later time without disrupting the flow of the circle.

This is so we can honour both you with one-on-one time and assistance, whilst also honouring everyone present, as no experience is more or less important than anyone elses.  If we move on to the next person, it does not mean we do not care about your situation, only that the care may be postponed a couple of hours so as to give others the chance to share themselves.

The circles are designed for sharing & support and are not designed nor equipped to be all-for-one therapy sessions and it can be unfair to ask all those present to focus on any one person whilst leaving no time left for their own stories and needs. If your issues are extensive, you may wish to also get guidance from other practitioners, such as social or medical therapists, counselling therapists, natural therapists, energy workers, readers – anything that is applicable to your case. The circles can possibly be all that given the range of qualified practitioners present in your own time and throughout the months, however, it cannot be all that in the space of one afternoon! It would even be prudent to think that long term changes can be made by hijacking a circle for your current needs. If you think you may have done this before – never fear as we all do it from time to time – this is simply a reminder, so that you may be mindful in future for yourself and for everyone present

• Relevance: Be mindful of keeping to the subject at hand. Though an occasional banter and giggle is perfectly relevant and fine, having a conversation turn to, say, a discussion on the cute panda currently at the zoo for 20 mins can mean that someone who needs to express themselves doesn’t get a chance to do so.
• Mirroring: We often have people be our mirrors. So if someone says something that grinds against you, or doesn’t say anything and that infuriates you or annoys you, or a person that annoys you everytime – please take the time to ask yourself what this person may be mirroring to you about yourself. Often the thing we don’t like about someone may be what we don’t like about ourselves. This is called ‘mirroring’.  If anything, having this occur is a great tool towards self awareness and discovery if you choose to delve further and see it. In other circumstances, a grievance or annoyance could be because something has hot a raw nerve or boundary, and again, this may be something for you to take note of and look into further throughout the month. We have had wonderful open moments in these circles where people have said “ I didn’t like anything you said or did last month, but thats because i realised that what you talked about was exactly what was  going on in my own life that I didn’t like and was ignoring…….”. These moments are very precious, this is where we get to truly delve into our shadows and come out the other side with a lot of self awareness and knowledge.
• Mobile phones: please turn your phone off during circle unless in cases of emergencies. If you need to leave your phone on in case of emergency or family, please let the hosts and facilitators know and then preferably have the phone switched to silent mode. Having a boppy pop song ringtone or rude funny Yoda chatting away ringtone come on during a focussed discussion or meditation can be a huge distraction for others. If you do receive a call you must take for any reason, please take your phone conversation outside. It is not ok to take your call and speak loudly on the phone whilst another person is speaking or a workshop is currently happening. This does happen out there, and in one case, a whole group stopping to wait until the person finished having a leisurely chat about stuff whilst sitting in circle!  Etiquette aunty will not be impressed and ask you to kindly go outside. Yes the circle encourages you to be yourself and do what your mind & body needs at the time, but discussing what mary did at the nightclub the other night can surely wait for a couple of hours

Punctuality

Although there are special circumstances where people can arrive late (such as baby sitting issues, work commitments etc) it is courteous to let the facilitator and/or host know of your impending late arrival. This can be done with a simple phone call, sms or even email if you know ahead of time.This is so the group can be told to expect another arrival & doorbell ahead of time so as to not disturb the enrgy and flow of the afternoon/evening.

It is also not ok to arrive halfway through circle 1-3 hours late. Although you are welcomed at any time to come when you need to, please bear in mind that as a circle progresses, there is a sense of sacred space, solidarity and a bond within the circle. Momentum and atmosphere can be broken with the sudden arrival of new participants. Also, if you come half way or ¾ of the way through and do not contribute financially or otherwise to the circle that day, it can dishonour the time, energy and contributions that others put in that were punctual. Please be mindful of this in any events, circle or gathering out there in your communities

Attendance status

If you are listed as attending, please let someone know asap if you can no longer attend. This can be done either by taking yourself off any attending list, cancelling your booking online or an email/phone call. If we expect your attendance, we are often left running late waiting for people to show so that we may start with everyone in attendance.  It is not a case of ‘no one will notice if I just don’t come”. It also means we are left  turning bookings away at time keeping spaces for people who have little to no intention of coming, letting us know that your attendance status has changed will allow us to make the space available for others. Please do let us know if possible, if you are not able to attend or to be arriving late for any reason, so as best to accommodate both you and the group. Late bookings are also ok, though please, again, let us know asap. We have had instances where a workshop or event is catered with equipment and notes enough for a certain number, then struggled to accommodate people coming without a booking. Please be mindful that confirming numbers is a great help in having the evening run smoothly and least amount of panic moments

Talking stick please!

Within circle, and indeed in any social circumstance, it is a precious honoured moment when you can speak and be heard by those present. Knowing that others are being present and focused on your words. It is courteous to be mindful of this when present in circle, that we give attention and listen to others when they speak and share their story. Talking stick rules – the person who has ‘ the floor’ should..well…have the floor! You may feel like a naughty schoolgirl being told to shush up when someone else is talking, but this boundary is there for a reason. Its a case of ‘do onto others, what you yourself would want done to you. ‘

At Crimson Marquee you are always free to get up to go to the loo, get a drink of water, grab a tissue, go get a plate off the table, and anything else you may need at the time. But if you are present in the circle, please do give attention to those speaking at the time and be mindful that having private conversations across the circle, talking amongst yourselves or completely ignoring the person speaking is not something you would wish upon yourself.  Therefore it shows good etiquette to not do it to others. There are times where a speaker may start to go off into tangents or dominate the time allocated to circle by hijacking it somewhat, ( times where its very hard to keep focus on them) which is discussed in another area of this article above. If concerned about this happening or anything else, please feel free to contact the facilitator or host with genuine feedback.

You get what you give

You get out of a circle what you put in. Any time and energy you put in, you should receive in return. This also means that if you put in the effort to be honest with yourself, break down some of your boundaries, allow yourself to take on board new perspectives and ideas – then you will ultimately get a lot more from being in the circle that day.  So take a punt and explore the world of the unknown! Expecting ANY event, workshop or circle out there to change your life without being open and willing to actively take part in that process yourself goes back to owning your own stuff. So get returns on any investment, you first need to invest of course! Thats just a rule of business, physics, and any circle as well.

What happens in circle, stays in circle!

A circle is sacred, in that it is common etiquette and manners to not take what you hear and turn it into gossip or a bitch fiesta. Also, you may find that others that were not present may not see or feel the same impact from something you recollect, so don’t always expect your partner or friends to understand where you are coming from just because they are close to you.

So for example. You can chat to your partner at home and say “ one of the girls mentioned how she felt about her period as a teenager, and I realised I felt the same too, and it brought me to think about this and this”. Thats acceptable. Saying “Mary Mable said that she had menorrghagia as a teenager and still bleeds like a stuffed pig every month, and then Jane Do said she once had an affair” is not ok. Self explanatory really, but always needs mentioning just in case : that what you experience at circle in regards to others, stays at circle.

Equality

Everyone has their wisdom to share. Whether you are a professional and have some this a million times, or a young girl yet learning the ways of the world, guaranteed that your experiences are individual and that the wisdom and lessons you have to share will effect someone else listening. This is where even a young teen girl can have a pearl of wisdom that can teach something completely new to someone 3 times their age & experience. Or that a receptionist and mum might have a whole new perspective on healing that a professional healer of 20 years may not have thought of before. Never underestimate each other – its amazing the amount of knowledge sitting in one room of 10-14 women! Everyone present has the capacity to both give and receive in every circle

Whilst not every woman experiences menstruation in her lifetime, it is understood that most women experience menstruation on a regular ( or in some cases, irregular) basis. Every time she ovulates and her body expresses her fertility, the uterus swells up in preparation, and then sheds its nutrient dense soup of blood, mucus and uterine lining in preparation for the next chance to theoretically catch a fertilised egg.
When this period of menstruation occurs, which it has done since us human existed and before we ever wore clothing or had any shame behind the natural process, we have ways to either collect, dispose of or hide the resulting flow.
The reasoning behind this can vary from woman to woman. The reasoning for menses capture is as individual and unique as the shape and size of our vaginas – none are absolutely the same. Common reasons can include protecting clothing and furniture, to cultural based shame of menstruation, to a desire to give some of this back by putting the flow into the garden. The reasons behind wanting to capture the flow tends to determine what we would use…or does it? Sometimes its because we believe there are no other options available, or we are told that only one option is safe or culturally acceptable. A lot of us aren’t aware of all the options available to us, with some women being limited to tampons and pads. I myself when I first started menstruating was given only one option, which was briquette disposable pads. I have friends who’s daughters were taught at school that disposable tampons and pads were the only ‘normal’ options and that everything else was weird or unsafe.
What we hope to do here is to explain all the options and answer a few question , lifting the veil that hides us from the freedom of choice and body awareness.
Tampons – Tampons are compressed material that is inserted into the vaginal canal. It comes with s string attached for removal.
BENEFITS:
 Tampons are small and compact, and can be easily taken anywhere.
 You can continue to play sports with ease, go swimming and even forget that they are there
 Now come with options, including safer pure organic cotton tampons, applicators for those with insertions issues or taboos, and easy to unwrap packaging ( reducing handling ).
 Provides an odour free option, as barring any tell tale string sings is highly discreet.
CONS:
 Irritations and damage – Tampons can dry out the vagina as it soaks up not only menstrual flow, but natural vaginal secretions. This can irritate the vaginal walls for some women, and even disrupt the pH of the vagina that leads to all sorts of problems like thrush. This can also create mini-ulcers we are often unaware of ( unless they get bigger or get infected), and release of tiny rayon or cotton fibres. This tampon ‘fluffing’ as seen with most brands including those who claim to have a non fluff covering, have been speculated to be associated with cervical cancer. Some applicators can also damage the vaginal walls making them more prone to infections such as vaginosis, and the string provides another nice bed for bacteria to breed in. (Imagine getting a tissue and some cotton thread from your sewing box and and putting it up your vagina for many hours at a time when your menstruating – many women wont do that, but feel safer with a tampon.)
 Most tampons contain Rayon that is linked to Toxic Shock Syndrome, a deadly infective condition. Viscose rayon, provides a perfect warm wet breeding ground for the bacteria that causes Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) to grow. Combining the presence of rayon with an irritated vaginal area and any weakening of the immune system can increase this risk. Contrary to marketing belief, TSS has not gone away since the outbreak in the 1980s, and thus the reasons for the warning in each packet here in Australia. Many specialists find that for every TSS case that gets officially counted as being TSS, there are 5more that don’t quite reach the diagnostic criteria enough to be counted as TSS, such as a fever one degree lower.
 Pollution. Disposable products have a huge impact on the environment. From a production point of view, they use up a lot of resources to produce – something many people forget about, including releasing bleaches (dioxins) and chemicals into our water system, use of electricity, petrol & fumes produced in freighting, other forms of pollution used in production and distribution/freight. For most part they use cotton that is non organic, and even genetically modified, sprayed ( adding more chemicals into our water system) and processed. The outer casings and covering are sometimes made from non-natural sources such as petroleum/crude oil based.
 Waste production. Tampons are a wad of fluff and material that goes to waste, but it also comes with a strong, a plastic covering, a box, a sheet of paper with TSS warning, and then wrapped again in more plastic. Tampons that have an applicator also has two tubes of fortified cardboard for each tampon used, thats two more pieces of bleached and processed tree pulp usually not from recycled paper that ends up being there just for our ‘convenience’ to be tossed away. You can imagine how much waste just the packaging creates in every cycle, let alone in a womans lifetime. Then multiply that by the amount of women that use these products around the world. Easy to see why disposable sanitary products are rivalling disposable nappies when it comes to landfill.
 Toxins – we often talk of toxins in the water, in our food, in our medicines, and forget about what else we put in our bodies through menstrual products. Bleaching tampons, so they are sterile and white, leaves behind dioxins in the tampons. These residues are highly carcinogenic and toxic. Dioxins are also a major concern for the environment as they end up in our waterways and effecting anything that drinks or lives in that water, including us! There are no levels that are considered ‘safe’. Most dioxins end up in the water supply from industries including tampon and pad production.
Other chemicals can also be found in popular tampon brands include pesticides, waxes, surfactants, dyes, aluminium, copper, boron, etc. Many ingredients we are totally unaware of, as companies are not required to label their products with ingredient listings.
 Backward awareness – Advertising of these products can sometimes increase the amount of shame and secrecy young girls – and older ladies – feel about their menstruation. The marketing aims to sell their product for its features, and many of those features are associated with making it possible for women to pretend that their periods aren’t really there. Such as the odourless factor, perfumed tampons, or ‘no one will ever know’, or ‘dealing with’ the ‘medical condition’ of menstruation, etc. These ads show how easy it is to ‘hide’ menstruation, and whilst not the cause of shame & disgust of the natural process of menstruation, can proliferate this belief in popular culture.
 Cost – Often the products are now getting smaller, yet we are being charged more for them too. An average woman can spend over $2000 or more on tampons in a lifetime. There are more economical options available that would also help support smaller industries and more environmentally conscious industries. Even within tampons, there are organic cotton alternatives that also use biodegradable packaging
 Confronting taboos – Some women find it difficult to have something inside their vaginal canal. Examples can include women who are virgins and still uncomfortable with anything up there, or women who have been raped or abused, just as examples. Tampons or other inserted products may not be the option for them. Some cultures and religious beliefs also have taboos about inserted products.

Menstrual Cups – Reusable. These cups are shaped like a small wine glass without much of a stem, worn somewhat in the middle of the vaginal canal as opposed to over the cervix like a cap or diaphragm. They are folded twice lengthwise to insert, and then released. With a little twist, the cup then pops back into shape forming a suction that holds it in place. To remove, you find the little stem to guide your fingers, pinch the bottom, and gently pull it out. Rinse out,( in the case of public toilets, some women use a little bottle of water to rinse with whilst in the cubicle) and reinsert. There are two versions on the market made by various companies, including Rubber ( like the Keeper) or a somewhat softer medical grade silicon one like the (Diva Cup or Moon cup) which is especially good for people with rubber allergies. It is recommended that they are thoroughly washed/sterilised on a regular basis, and there are wash products available to help with this.
BENEFITS:
 You can keep it in there for up to 12 hours, depending on your flow.
 They rarely leak, especially once you get the hang of it.
 Holds up to 15mls of flow, more than a super size tampon.
 Are relatively small and compact, you only need the one you are wearing, and can be easily taken anywhere. For washing in public toilets, some women take a bottle of water and rinse the cup in the cubicle.
 You can continue to play sports with ease, go swimming and even forget that they are there
 Comes with size options, before childbirth and after childbirth/after age 30.
 Comes in two ingredient options – rubber or medical silicon.
 Provides an odour free option, and has no tell tale string to show when wearing a bikini. Very discreet.
 The silicon ones can be boiled for sanitation ( much like we ‘sterilise’ baby bottle teats), and you can use either special washes to clean them regularly, or even a vinegar wash
 Cost Efficient – one cup will last years, and can pay for itself in less than half a years worth of disposable products.
 Environmentally friendly – Aside from initial production and packaging, does not create extra land fill wastes every cycle, and has a minimal amount of pollution created in its initial production. Does not contribute to leaking toxic chemicals into the environment.
 Toxin free – does not leave ‘fluff’ fibres in your vagina, does not carry any documented risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome, and does not leach bleach and other chemicals into your body
 Allows for your vagina to continue creating its normal flow of mucous and other natural fluids that keep the pH of your vagina healthy, reduces any dryness and irritation, and reduces risk of infections such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush. Cups do not create the kind of warm wet environment receptacle that can harbour and proliferate bacterial growth.
 Is generally soft, not rigid or hard edged, so less likely to damage vaginal walls unlike applicators or tampons.
 Marketing is generally pro-active about womens menstrual awareness. Despite cups being a discreet product, they do not tend to proliferate the idea of shame or need to hide the natural occurrence of menstruation. It also promotes an eco friendly small producer industry and retailers, as opposed to corporations and supermarket chains.
CONS:
 Initial cost – because they retail for anywhere between $35-60 depending on currency, despite it being more of a money saver in the long run, can be expensive for some women for making the initial purchase. Though, when we think about how much is spent on thrush creams, and the like, some women may find the savings bigger than first expected)
 Confronting taboos – Some women find it difficult to have something inside their vaginal canal. Examples can include women who are virgins and still uncomfortable with anything up there, or women who have been raped or abused, just as examples. Tampons or other inserted products may not be the option for them. Some cultures and religious beliefs also have taboos about inserted products.
 Usage or Anatomical issues – Some women find the cups difficult to use. The reasons for this include
*not being persistent enough. Some women find it can take a couple of cycles of use before they get the knack of it. Some women lose patience after one or two tries and abandon the idea. Once they get it right, they never go back to disposable, however,, some women don’t get to that point.
*Some women have little knowledge about their anatomy, haven’t had enough practice with their vaginas (unexplored territory) or may be too embarrassed to ask for help if they can’t get it right the first time.
*the instructions given may be misinterpreted or not adapted. Though the instructions are general and basic, some women find they adapt the instructions a little to suit them before perfecting their technique.
*Though rare, some women find getting the hang of it more difficult because of anatomical hurdles, such as a retrograde cervix, repetitive vaginal spasms (which can have physical or psychological causes) or other issues that make insertion very difficult. As an example, those with history of sexual abuse can occasionally find any vaginal insertion an issue, and their vaginas will react by being overly tense and rejecting any attempt. In these cases, menstrual pads tend to be a better option.
 Visual factor – some women don’t like seeing their flow, let alone having to wash it into the garden or down the sink. Though this is usually due to taught cultural taboos about blood or menstruation, it can be distressing or uncomfortable for some women, especially if they have been used to another method for a long time.
 Recommended to be used with caution for those with IUD’s (intra uterine devices) and certain gynaecological conditions. If in doubt, you need to seek advice from your medical practitioner or specialist.
Disposable Pads – Ranging from thin panty liners, to the ‘ol briquette sized pillows, with or without ‘wings’ to cling to your underwear, disposable pads are essentially a wad of absorbent material designed to suck in and hold the menstrual flow to be disposed of in the garbage. They can in a huge variety of sizes, shapes, colours, and ingredient mixes. Some are more natural based, in that they are made from cotton materials, whilst others use the same absorbent chemical crystal found in disposable nappies that can irritate, or even plastic coverings that can lead to added sweating and bacterial growth.
BENEFITS:
 Disposable and east to use/dispose of whilst out of the house or using public toilets, especially where sanitary bins are available. Reusable cloth pads need to be stored on person to be washed when you arrive home.
 Are often made from materials that prevent leaks and have a sticky strip that clings to underwear to stop the pad from moving too much. Some come with sticky wings for added stability of positioning as well as leak prevention.
 Great for those who do not wish to use inserted products or cannot use inserted products. This includes a perfect option during times of infections such as thrush, where pads can be used to collect discharge. So they are can be useful also outside menstruation, such as for leucorrhoea ( excessive vaginal discharge).
 Come in a huge range of sizes and absorbancies, meaning you can accommodate your flow more easily that you can with cloth pads to some degree. Cloth pads produers are starting to make different shapes,and sizes now though.
 Designs include materials that absorb and lock away the flow with an impenetrable lining, such to prevent any leaks onto clothes or underwear. Keeps flow away from the body.
CONS:
 Disposable, thus creating a huge amount of waste that has become comparable to the waste caused by disposable nappies. A huge number of resources are used in the production, not only the ingredients but also in energy/power. Pads use up more than tampons even, and use a huge amount of plastics and adhesives, wax paper tabs, and packaging.
 Can result in menstrual odours, that some women may become worried or self conscious about, even when others can’t tell.
 Irritations and allergies– Pads can be made from any number of ingredients, none of which legally have to be listed! Some women find they have allergies to these ingredients or get irritation to their skin. This can further irritate the genitalia for some women, contribute to problems like thrush. Much like tampons, some pads are likely to ‘fluff’ and release fibres that can irritate your skin. A number of chemicals are used in the production of disposable pads, some that are considered toxic. Some women may even be allergic to the adhesives used in the sticky pads.
 Pollution. Disposable products have a huge impact on the environment. From a production point of view, they use up a lot of resources to produce – something many people forget about, including releasing bleaches (dioxins) and chemicals into our water system, use of electricity, petrol & fumes produced in freighting, other forms of pollution used in production and distribution/freight. With pads, even more so than tampons as so much more material is used, including plastic linings and absorbent gels. Even any natural materials are often non organic, genetically modified, sprayed ( adding more chemicals into our water system) and processed. The linings and covering are sometimes made from non-natural sources such as petroleum/crude oil based.
 Water – Disposable pads use more water in production, than cloth pads use when needing to be washed.
 Toxins – Though not inserted into the vagina like tampons, pads still contain toxins that can irritate our skin or cross the skin barrier into circulation. They are also very harmful to the environment and end up in the water supply after production,such as the case of dioxins from bleaching. There are no levels that are considered ‘safe’. Most dioxins end up in the water supply from industries including tampon and pad production amongst others.
Other chemicals can also be found in popular tampon brands include pesticides, waxes, surfactants, dyes, adhesives, synthetic cloths etc. Many ingredients we are totally unaware of, as companies are not required to label their products with ingredient listings.
 Cost –Many pads, including the boutique varieties, are very expensive. Depending on brand & model choices, flow amount and how often a woman changes her pads, the costs can reach astronomical levels. Many of the natural all cotton or organic cotton pads can be twice as expensive as synthetic material pads, making more eco friendly choices very costly indeed.
 Bulkiness – Pads can be bulky, and generally women are aware of their presence unlike what happens with inserted products. High absorbency pads, including maternity pads or super maxi’s, can feel like wearing a pillow in between your legs. This can restrict a woman from wearing what she wants, as she may be reluctant to wear a tight fitting pair of pants.
 Leisure – sports activities including swimming is difficult and sometimes restricted when using pad options.

Cloth pads and other reusable pads- The most widely used menstrual product is the cloth pad. Around the world, women use cloth pads, generally home made, and were pretty much the only option only a couple of generations ago. Used both on their own, as well as a back up for internal products such as tampons and cups
BENEFITS:
 They are good for women who do not wish to use inserted products into their vagina, or those that cannot use inserted products.
 In general, cloth pads can be more absorbent than disposable pads, and some can even be refolded so as to last longer before needing to be changed.
 After soaking in cold water, the pads can be put into the regular laundry wash using regular soaps or detergents of choice. Used ones can be soaked for a bit in cold water, or just rinsed out, and then tossed in the regular laundry.
 Water used to soak the pads can be used in the garden or pot plants for extra nutrient dense watering
 Can be made at home, with minimal sewing skills from inexpensive materials such as flannel or terry towelling. You can even sew them up from old pairs of pyjamas and towels for added eco friendly recycling.
 And produced with more and more array of designs, sizes, shapes, colours and features! Fashion for your underwear! They include velcro grip tabs, press stud clip wings, and even leopard print pads for those who want to walk on the wild side!
 Tend to be made with natural materials such as cotton and wool. There is little chance of chemical residue from when the material was produced, as they are washed before use.
 There are practically no health risks associated with cloth pads!
 Economical, as they tend to last at least 2 years of regular use if not more, and can even be made from recycled materials, making then cost absolutely nothing. Bought cloth pads tend to pay for themselves within a few months.
 Eco friendly, as aside from the production of the materials in the first place, does not release any added pollution or toxins into the environment. There is no packaging involved, except for any initial postage packaging when first sold if you buy them.
 Zero waste, especially if you make them yourself. Most bought pads will also use biodegradable bags for postage/hygiene purposes.
 Makers of cloth pads usually celebrate menstruation as natural and something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. The marketing is usually awareness driven. Many are made by small businesses, including ones made by working mums and small teams of womens collectives.

CONS:
 If made without wings or clips/velcro, can move and slip around a little especially with any vigorous activity.
 Some women detect an odour they may be self conscious about
 Some women find the act of soaking and washing pads to be unsanitary and distressing. (usually due to cultural beliefs or upbringing, especially in western cultures when disposables are common)
 Convenience – as they are re-useable, they aren’t just discarded when changed when out in public. If you wear cloth pads out for the day, you tend to need to carry around a plastic or biodegradable nappy bag with you to store soaked pads until you can get them home for soaking. Thus some women find themselves subconsciously avoiding going out for long period of time with cloth pads, or will use other methods when out of the house like cups or disposables.
 Discretion – Some women don’t like the idea of having their pads out on the wahing line, and feel embarrassed or otherwise ashamed by the evidence of their menstrual period hanging up on their hills hoist washing line.
 Can be bulky, and generally women are aware of their presence unlike what happens with inserted products. High absorbency pads, including maternity pads or thick terry pads, whilst feel natural for some women, can feel like wearing a pillow in between your legs for others. This can restrict a woman from wearing what she wants, as she may be reluctant to wear a tight fitting pair of pants.
 Leisure – sports activities including swimming is difficult and sometimes restricted when using pad options.
 When washing them, sometimes bleaches and other chemicals are used to reduce stains or for a feeling of hygiene. This is not eco friendly, and using a chemical soak means the water cant be used in the garden.
Sea Sponges – These are natural products made by an animal of the ocean, shaped usually into disc like shapes for easy use and insertion. Some will also had a string tied to them for easier removal. Some women have also been known to use synthetic cosmetic sponges or household sponges such as those used for cleaning bench tops, although sea sponges tend to be more recommended and available at many pharmacies.
BENEFITS:
 An all natural product, and the only inserted product used for many hundreds of years.
 Used by many working women, for the reason that they can be worn during sexual intercourse. Many women have even found their sexual partners to not know they were menstruating!
 You can use more than one sponge to accommodate the rate of flow.
 Are available at many chemists/pharmacies.
 Are rinsed and/or washed and reinserted straight away, even in public if you carry some water with you into a public toilet cubicle. Care is done by making sure to sterilise them by boiling them in between cycles.
 Can be reused many times before needing to be discarded.
 Minimum amount of resources used, as they are a natural sea product and need minimal processing and packaging. This eco friendly
 Minimal waste, except for any packaging used for hygiene purposes.
 Little if any at all reports of infective issues such as toxic shock syndrome. Many women who have been using them all their lives have reported no health issues associated with the use of sponges aside from those associated with absorbing natural vaginal secretions.
CONS:
 Some women find inserting them relatively easy, but can have difficulties getting them out again, especially if they use a floss/string and it becomes untied.
 Can be difficult to get in some areas.
 Are not vegan friendly, as they are an animal product. Some women may be squeamish about using essentially what is a dead animal product for their menstrual flow.
 Some expert say they need to be discarded every 2-3 cycles, whilst others do not recommend them all together. There is some speculation as to whether keeping menstrual flow ‘trapped’ in the vagina is unhealthy or may attract bacteria, in the same way tampons do. There is a lot of conflicting views on this. There is little evidence to show that when used, sterilised and stored properly, that they would be in any way unsafe or unhygienic.
 The use of synthetic sponges can lead to similar safety and health issues as tampons, including releasing any chemicals that are present in the sponges or harbouring bacteria.
 May soak up normal vaginal secretions that keep a healthy pH and prevent irritations and infections, especially when using more than one sponge.
Diaphragm – Not just for birth control purposes, diaphragms and cervical caps are used by some women to collect menstrual flow. They work much like cups, only they hold much less flow and keep the flow close to the cervix.
BENEFITS:
 As they are personally fitted by a gynaecologist, they are made to fit just you. Thus practically anyone can get one that will fit.
 Can be used as a contraceptive, especially when used alongside spermatocides
 Have the benefits of a menstrual cup ( see menstrual cup benefits) such that it is reusable, economical, eco friendly and discreet.
 Can be worn during any activity, including swimming and sexual intercourse.
CONS:
 Holds less flow than cups, thus may leak. Especially in heavy flow.
 Has to be fitted by a gynaecologist, thus requires appointments and any costs associated with those.
 Sits over the cervix, thus keeps the menstrual flow up near the cervix. This is debatably not ideal, as there are theories about ‘retrograde flow’ and seen by some professional to act as a block. Some women have thus found their period to last longer, even though there is no physiological reason why it should do so.
 Can be difficult to put in and place in the right spot, especially for those with a retrograde cervix or other anatomical hurdles that make insertion difficult.
 All the other disadvantages associated with a cup, such as some difficulties in rinsing them in public.
No method – going totally flow natural – This is wearing or using nothing at all, and letting the flow come down the legs, into your clothes if your wearing any, or into the ground if you are sitting or squatting. This is the most natural and primordial way of menstruating, and what would have happened in prehistoric times. The flow drips out of the vagina and dries wherever it goes, or is washed away.
BENEFITS:
 Is practiced by tribal women all over the world. Not as ‘out there’ as first thought!
 Gives women reason to create menstrual huts, lodges and other tribal traditions.
 Can be used as a one off experience or as a regular way of menstruating. Some women have used this as a way of expressing their primal woman, such as sitting in their garden to menstruate directly into the earth to feel a connection to the moon/earth/ other forces for spiritual or psychological reasons.
 Can be a freeing experience to get in touch with the primal or wild woman side of yourself
 Connects a woman with her ancestry, considering this was what was done before humans wore clothing
 Is totally free, totally natural, the safest option out of them all, a very healthy option. Zero odour, zero waste, zero pollution, zero reliance on anyone, zero toxins.
 Allows for natural flow without impeding, blocking or holding flow inside or near the body.
 May be the origins of ritual bathing at the conclusion of the menstrual period, as seen in some religions and cultures today. Makes women more aware of their bodies, anatomy and traditions.
CONS:
 Many women, especially those living in a western culture, would find this impossible to do in their lifestyle or with work schedules.
 Many women, especially those in modern or western cultures, would be quite squeamish or uncomfortable with such an open and possibly furniture / bed sheet staining method of menstruation.
 All leakage with free flow, can stain sheets, clothing and furniture, especially if not washed or wiped on a regular basis.
 Can be culturally very unaccepted in modern countries.

I hope this answers a few questions and gives people a better idea as to what suits them best. Please feel free to contact me and let me know if there is any extra information, research, options or issues I should add as this document is for all women to benefit from, and as such, owned by all women.

How to make a decision about what to use:
Awareness is key to making an informed decision. Some woman find it beneficial to make a balance between nature, environment, health and convenience – and this will change and differ from woman to woman depending on her culture, her body, her experiences, her teachings, her history and her beliefs. No option is the ‘wrong’ option, and no option is the only ‘right’ option for everybody. Many women will chose to use various options depending on flow, month, finances at the time, etc. It is good to remember that this is a personal and ever changing decision, and that there is no right and wrong answer for everybody, just the right answer for you 

Happy Moon tide to you all 